I shoulda not just sat there.
smiling like a fool.
I coulda touched her silky hair;
broken all the rules.
I woulda told her she was rare—
precious, shining as a jewel.
I wish I’d mentioned how I care,
tried to win my inner duel.
So now I sit here looking back
thinking of the things I lack.
I want to pull out of this rut.
One thing stops me—one word—but.
But right now I’m safe, secure as I sit here.
There is nothing to fix.
But what if she says what I don’t want to hear?
I just can’t take that risk.
Who will show me what to do?
Who will guide my path?
I need to trust in only You.
My God in present, future, past.
I know You have great plans for me,
if only I would try to see.
So I won’t worry about finding someone
of all that I shoulda coulda woulda done.
Commentary
This poem arose from a late night discussion with my roommates. I can’t give all the details of that conversation, but let’s just say that we were discussing things that frustrate us. Things that we wish we had more control over. I called this “Retrospect” because it is written from a viewpoint of someone looking back remorsefully on past experiences. Anyway, that’s all.
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